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Verbal Bullying

September 25, 20177 min read

At Elite Karate Academy we teach students to stand with good posture, to project confidence, even if they don’t feel it.  To show a “poker face”, a neutral face showing no emotion.  Don’t let the bully see they are hurting you.  We believe no child chooses to be bullied, students are thought it is never their fault and the should always tell someone and keep telling until the bullying is stopped.

Nurture friendships. Bullies seek out kids who lack connections or who are isolated. Meanwhile, kids who have friends are less likely to be bullied than those who are alone. Even one significant friend at school can greatly reduce the likelihood that your child will be bullied. And even if your children are still targeted by bullies, having friends will make it easier for them to overcome bullying if it does occur.

 

 

 

How to deal with the Verbal types of bullying?

Verbal bullying.  Ignore it. With role play students are taught to walking away with a poker face and tell someone.

Be confident. Shown good body language over bad posture, where do they learn good posture? It is important parents follow through on in class lessons by monitoring their child’s posture.  Knowing they can defend themselves makes students walk better and carry themselves with more confidence.

  • Look confident (assertive body language) by standing tall and holding your head up.

  • Don’t cry and run off. Instead move closer, turn sideways, and have non-threatening eye contact.

  • Keep your facial expressions neutral. Don’t look sad and don’t look angry.

  • Hold your arms beside your body. Don’t hold your arms up like you want to fight.

  • Make your assertive comment and then walk off confidently.

Specific Strategies:

  • Make an assertive statement: With a serious face and a strong but calm voice say, “Stop it!” or say, “This is a waste of my time. I’m out of here.” (walk off confidently) – Or say some other appropriate comment, but do not provoke the student who bullies

  • Fogging—(admit the characteristic) soft verbal comebacks. For example, “Allan, you sure are fat.” You could say, “You’re right, I need to lose weight.” (walk off confidently)

  • Admit the Obvious—point out that the bully sees the obvious— “Wow! He noticed I have big ears.” (walk off confidently)

  • Broken record — repeat “What did you say?” or “That’s your opinion.” or “So.” (Then, walk off confidently)

  • Confront bully concerning his/her spreading lies/rumors. (walk off confidently.)

  • Expose the ignorance of the student who bullies you. For example, if he is bullying you because of your medical problem or disability, tell him the facts about it. (walk off confidently)

  • Give permission to tease– “Well, it’s okay to say what you want. It doesn’t bother me.” (walk off confidently.)

  • Use sense of humor (do not make the bully feel like he/she is being laughed at). For example, if the bully says, “You sure do have big ears.” You could say, “I know, sometimes I feel like I am an elephant.” (walk off confidently)

  • Make an asset of characteristic. For example, one boy was teased because he lost his hair because of cancer treatments. He said, “Well, I guess Michael Jordan and I are alike, we both don’t have much hair.” (walked off confidently)

  • Throw something and run when you are at risk of being hurt or you are in danger.

 

Stay positive.

Safety in numbers. Avoid danger spots. What should u do if u see a danger spot or bully?

Tell someone.  ALWAYS.

  • having a pleasant but blank facial expression. Note: If you keep a ‘poker face’, the bully will not be able to tell how you are feeling. This is important, as a bully wants the person who they are bullying to feel hurt, sad, confused, upset or angry (or a combination of these). If you remain emotionless you will not provide any feedback to them

 

Keep out of their way.  It might be possible for you to avoid whoever’s bullying you. This can mean travelling a different way to school, or avoiding the places they hang out. This isn’t giving in to them – just getting on with life and taking care of yourself without them getting in the way or wrecking your day.

Most bullying happens when adults aren’t around, such as in between classes, at lunch or recess, after school, and online. Still, bullying rarely takes place without an audience – kids are around to see bullying 85 percent of the time. But even though they see it, kids usually don’t try to stop bullying, and may even be unknowingly encouraging it.

Most of the time that kids witness bullying, they stand by passively. This causes bullying to last longer because it reinforces the bullies’ power and status, two reasons that people bully. Most kids don’t want to watch bullying, and don’t want it to happen at all. But many kids don’t know how to do this and worry that by stepping in they might become the next victim. These worries, and witnessing verbal and physical abuse, take a toll on bystanders.

Possible Effects on Bystanders:

  • Feel angry, helpless, and guilty.

  • Don’t feel safe where bullying takes place, like in certain hallways in school, on the bus, in the park, or online.

  • Fear of becoming the next victim

Two out of three kids want to help when they see bullying, and helping out is one of the most effective ways to stop bullying and prevent it from happening again. When friends help out, 57 percent of the time bullying stops in 10 seconds (Hawkins, Pepler, and Craig, Social Development, 2001).

There are effective and safe ways for kids to step in and help others being bullied.

Some work better in certain situations than others. You can help kids decide when to use each method by role-playing bullying situations with them. Remember to emphasize that kids should only step in when they feel safe.

  • Walk away. This shows bullies that their behavior is not funny or okay.

  • Speak up. Tell bullies that what they are doing is wrong. By saying, “that’s not funny, let’s get out of here” or something similar, kids can stand up for each other. This may also give other bystanders the confidence to speak up or walk away.

  • Be a friend. Sometimes kids get picked on because they don’t have any friends or anyone to stand up for them. When kids befriend someone being bullied, bullies are less likely to pick on them. Friendship can also give children the support and the confidence to stand up for themselves.

  • Ask others to help. When more kids stand up to bullies, the bullies will be more likely to realize their actions are not okay.

  • Partner with the victim and remove her from danger – Go stand with the victim physically, turn the victim away from the bully and walk her off in the other direction — towards adult help. Say “You look upset” or “I’ve been looking for you” or “The teacher sent me to find you.”

  • Get help – Bullies love an audience. Get the other kids on your side by waving them over to you, yelling, “We need your help.” Confront the bully: “You’re being mean.” Then walk away: “C’mon, let’s go!”

  • Get an adult. Sometime kids who are bullied are scared to ask an adult for help because they think it will make the bullying worse. Kids can help by telling an adult what is happening, or going to speak to an adult with kids being bullied.

  • Directly teach your child respectful self-assertion. Kids need to know they can get their needs met while being respectful of other people. Give him words to stick up for himself early on:

  • “It’s my turn now.”

  • “I want a turn now.”

  • “Hey, stop that.”

  • “Hands off my body.”

  • “It’s not okay to hurt.”

  • “I don’t like being called that. I want you to call me by my name.”

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